VALENTINE'S DAY LETTERS TRUMP CHOCOLATE AND FLOWERS

For Valentine’s Day my wife, Helene, came up with a wonderful idea.  She said, “Why don’t we each sit down and write each other a love letter?”  I agreed completely that this was an awesome idea.  Helene and I tell each other that we love each other every day and while I believe this is a great practice we are not in the practice of telling each other why we love each other.  For us men, we too often like to think of Valentine’s Day as a day that we buy our wife chocolates and/or flowers and take them out to a nice restaurant while neglecting to share with her the reasons that we cherish her so much.

This Valentine’s Day my wife and I stayed home and had a simple but delicious dinner that was a team effort.  Helene made her mom’s famous red-pepper soup and I made marble-cream-cheese brownies for dessert.  Of course I did splurge for a dozen orange roses because my wife is worth it.  The highlight of this romantic evening though was sitting at the dinner table and reading my love letter to Helene.  This was more than reading a letter though.  It was a declaration of why I chose her and made a commitment to spend the rest of my life with her.  Just as paramount as reading my letter was listening to Helene as she declared her love and commitment to me when she read hers!

Neither Helene nor I are completely comfortable sharing our letters here but we believe that putting them out there may help other couples to go beyond the potentially hollow declaration of, “I love you” and put some meat behind those words.  Our prayer is that your relationships push you to love more…to love deeper…to love when it hurts!

MY LETTER TO HELENE:

To the love of my life Helene,

You know, I love the fact that it is so easy for us to say “I love you” to each other every day!  While I believe that we mean those words every time that we say them to each other they can become hollow if we cannot express reasons why.

I often think about how our relationship started and am pretty amazed about how it all came together.  Ironically, it all started with a selfish act on my part—I remember being at Rocky Island and asking if you were riding with anyone to Cheat Fest later that week.  I remember wanting to share gas money being the primary motivation for the question.  Believe it or not, while you were not a total stranger at the time, it was still incredibly uncharacteristic for me to ask such a question and I am sort of baffled as to where the motivation to do so came from—I am confident I could have found another male paddling friend to share gas money with.  That makes me sort of think that it was Divine intervention that had me ask the question.

I remember the e-mail from you the day before sharing our ride.  You stated, “Food is important to me.”  That makes me think of two things that I love about you.  First, you are not afraid to speak your mind and share your needs—namely in this instance, “hey, I don’t know this person and they may be one of those fast-food junkies.  I need to know that because I like to eat healthy and make arrangements if that is the case.”  Second, I am not one of those fast-food junkies and I loved that before we were even in the car on the way to the Cheat River I had discovered that we both have a love of food in common.  By the way, it was awesome that we had a team effort with the Chili the other night—you did a great job with the carrots and peppers!  That acknowledgment leads me into yet another thing I love about you and us.  You frequently say, “We make a great team.”  I believe that is so true—I love when we go paddle together and often when we come home there is little or no verbal communication and yet everything gets put away—I love that you hang my gear for me!

Well anyway, I wanted to continue with the story of our “birth” as a couple.  This is kind of crazy, but I can’t remember anything about the day of our trip together to the Cheat River prior to our car ride or to put it another way I can’t remember a single thing about that day where you were not present in it.  I can’t remember if I worked that day and took off early or if I took the entire day off.  I can’t remember if I picked you up or if we met at my house!  Two things from that day stick out more than others though--the fact that we had a great conversation during our three hour car ride and that we had an impromptu dinner that felt very much like a date.  I also remember me telling you that I had the impression that you were shallow…whoops!  Thankfully, that was a false impression!

What sticks out to me today from our car ride to the Cheat River is another thing that I love about you and that is the fact that you listen well.  I am still a little embarrassed at myself for how self-absorbed I have been for the past month or two and even then you listened for several hours while I spat out and berated a book that I had recently read.

 This is somewhat ironic but I rarely ever think about the fact that we both won our classes at the race that year—as a matter of fact I was thinking about the dinner after the race and what we can dub “the brownie incident,” for lack of a better term, when I was like, “Oh yeah, we raced that Friday and we both won.”  That is such an afterthought for me and that is really odd, because you know how competitive I am.  Anyway, you have this huge, giving heart and I was literally blown away by your simple gesture of buying milk for the brownie I had saved.

Just last night I was sharing with XXXX about how I am so reluctant to involve myself in the mess of other people’s lives, but that you jump in with both feet.  You have had more conversations with XXXXX than I have.  XXXXX  talks to you more than he talks to me about his issues, the same with XXXXX.  You lend a listening and loving ear to XXXXX.  I am so fortunate that I get to learn this from you—I have a great model to learn from with respect to what it means to be there for another—I have a long way to go with this, but because of you I really believe that God is creating growth in my life in this area!

I could write more about the weekend that God brought us together, but I don’t want to dwell on the past too much.  As you can see, I merely wanted to use that weekend as a back drop for what I love about you today.  That does not mean that I do not like to think about how we met—it gives me joy and puts a smile on my face to think about it, but we are almost five years removed from that weekend and we should live in the present.  I believe we are both far from those two people we were back then and I think that is a good thing!

You are also a lot better than me at asking for help!  You had 20 people lined up to helps us move and I essentially moved the entire house by myself while you were away in Nepal.  I think a lot of people would ask, “What is there to love about someone not being afraid to ask for help?” I mean this can put a huge burden on the other spouse having to help out all the time—I believe this to be somewhat true, but I think the converse of this is way more detrimental to a relationship.  The prospect of living parallel lives is so very high with someone who never asks for help.  Asking for help allows the other to share the burden and that is a big part of what marriage is.  This is something that you are so much better at than me and again I love that I get to learn a new skill that will help develop humility in me and deepen not just our relationship but all of them.

Another thing that I love about you is that there are times when you disagree with me.  These are never fun times.  However, this is one of the biggest things that I love about you.  There is such a danger to a husband or wife that will always take the side of their spouse.  I am going to guess that it is not fun for you either when you disagree with me.  This makes me ever more thankful that you are willing to do so.  Disagreeing with me is an act of love that takes effort and it holds me accountable and I love that you are willing to make yourself uncomfortable in this respect.

I love our wedding invitation quote and my prayer for us is that we live it.  I love that I married you because I believe we complement each other well—we do make a good team!  I also pray that I carry traits that you can learn from as well.  Getting back to our wedding invitation quote I have to be honest about the fact that I have never devoted it to memory—I always remember the gist of it, but I wanted to include it here so I had to search for it on-line.  I found it with a continuation and I wanted to end with it:

The goal of our life should not be to find joy in marriage, but to bring more love and truth into the world. We marry to assist each other in this larger task. Though we should indeed love our spouse with true satisfaction, the most selfish and hateful life of all is that of two beings who unite merely in order to enjoy pleasures. The highest calling is that of the man who has dedicated his life to serving God and doing good, and who unites with a woman in order to happily further that purpose.

HELENE’S LETTER TO ME:

My sweetheart, the love of my life, my greatest blessing,

One of the things that I noticed about you right off the bat was that you truly care about relationships in a way that most guys do not.  You think through what is going on between you and another person (friend, family ...) and you are self-aware enough to be honest about where the road blocks might be even if they come from you.  For example you had thought about why you had a hard time staying close with friends who moved away.  Maybe you didn’t magically start rekindling a bunch of lost friendships, but you took the time to diagnose why it was an issue for you and eventually you were able to turn things around (e.g., when XXXX moved, you didn’t feel so abandoned anymore).  Just the fact that you spend any time at all considering the status of your many relationships with others is hugely attractive for me because relationships are such a major part of my world.

I love that you are such a good listener - maybe not when you get all focused on your stuff but when you decide to listen, you are a very active listener that not only makes me feel heard, but also helps me think through stuff by having to answer your questions that help further my understanding of the issue.  I really love that about you, you are a real friend to me in that respect, not just a lover.

The fact that you are a seeker spiritually is something that means a lot to me.  I could never be with someone who thinks he has all the answers and isn’t willing to continue seeking and trying to understand the world both spiritual and real.  You work so hard at understanding God and how you can serve him better, as well as at understanding the world around us and how you can make a difference.  That is very inspiring to me and motivates me to do the same even if my focus might be slightly different than yours.  I don’t know where all this seeking will lead us in the long run, but it’s the journey that matters and I love being on this journey with you!

I absolutely love how much you show your love by cooking.  It’s not just that I am the lucky recipient of much of that love (although that is a significant bonus since “food is important to me”), it’s that I love watching you spend so much time and energy doing something for someone else.  It gives a glimpse into how big your heart is for others and that makes me melt inside.  Other bonus:  I get the pride of watching you impress my dad :)

I feel very humbled and very touched that you share some of your insecurities with me, like for example the fact that you feel that you are not “smart” like a lot of NCCers.  I disagree with that statement but I recognize that your feelings of inferiority in this matter are real to you and I also know that this is not something you’d openly share with everyone. So I am grateful for your self-awareness and honesty.  We all feel insecure in some ways and a lot of these insecurities probably seem crazy to others – the art of marriage often feels like finding the balance between trusting the other enough to share our insecurities and having the other be mindful and respectful but without enabling us to stay stuck in the swamp of insecurity.  

I am so touched that you have embraced all my friends, of which there are many and who can be a little overwhelming at times both in numbers and in personalities. This is important to me because as you know my love for my friends is something that takes up a big part of my heart and my daily preoccupations (not to mention scheduling), so when you show acceptance of my friends and even real love for some of them you actually make me feel accepted and loved myself.  My friends are important to me so you caring about them translates to you caring about ME and that feels very good.  As time goes on, of course, friendships have become lesser priorities for me than our marriage, but nevertheless they are still very important and I love that you honor that.

I love traveling with you!  I love that you are patient with the small delays and unexpected surprises that are inherent to traveling (particularly internationally) and that you are interested in learning about other cultures and people living in ways different than ours, and that you rejoice in seeing amazing landscapes (like the Grand Canyon) as much as I do.  Being able to share my love of traveling and of the outdoors with someone is one of my biggest joys in our marriage.

Another thing I am really grateful for is how well we work as a team in our home. I am no longer as afraid or anxious about opening up our home to our friends or even strangers because you work so hard to help me put the house back in order immediately after we have gatherings.  Knowing that I can count on you to do that with me alleviates a lot of my anxiety about the mess that results from having guests, and in turn that makes me more willing and even excited to open up our home to others.  I love our teamwork!

I would be remiss if I focused only on emotional or intellectual attributes… your body is such a source of deliciousness to me.  I never get tired of how smooth and wonderful your skin is and I could just spend all day with my skin against your skin just breathing you in and feeling like I could melt into you.  I am so grateful that you work hard to stay healthy and fit so that we can enjoy each other physically as much as is possible.  And you smell soooo good!!!  

And finally, I am excited (both eager and anxious) to see where God is going to lead us.  After a couple of years of you doing a lot of thinking and reading on the issue of poverty and how to help those in need, it seems that you are reaching a time of action with committing to Second Saturday and the Living in the Tension group.  It scares me a little as would anything that could potentially alter the way we live our lives (which I am very comfortable with and really enjoy), but it is also a powerful and exciting experience to be joined as One with someone and see him taking a path that I value and admire and feel like I am going along for the ride…  I am not used to not being the sole master of my own destiny but there is a deep sense of righteousness in being by your side and supporting you in whatever comes next!

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY: GIVING A TRUE REFLECTION OF WHO WE ARE

The following quote is from Peter Rollins’ Insurrection:  “They express an image of ourselves that we would like other people to believe reflects who we are.”  What is the “they” that Rollins is writing about?   Social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook etc.

The truth of this, at least for my life, really struck me.  You see, one of my goals in life is to be transparent: to reflect the good, the bad and the ugly.  Yet when I look at the things that I post on Facebook it is apparent that I try to reflect only the things are good.  Why?  Because I want others to believe that that is what I am: good.  Therefore, I thought I would take the time to be a little more transparent and write about one instance of the ugly and bad since this weekend presented itself with a great opportunity.

Last week my wife, Helene, and I decided to arrange an in-home romantic night with enough time to really enjoy spending time uninterrupted together.  We often struggle with finding enough time to just be together intimately without schedules and places to run to, so this was to be the kickoff of a new year’s resolution to intentionally spend more romantic time together.  We decided to have our first romantic date of the year on Sunday evening after we got back from kayaking together on the Potomac River.  My inability to communicate clearly or really at all and my obsession with the Baltimore Ravens would spoil what could have been a great romantic evening with my wife.

We finished paddling right as the game was starting.  I was excited about getting to listen to the game on the way home.  By the time we got home I was hooked.  There was no way that I was going to be able to be emotionally available until the game was over.  This is a rather embarrassing confession but this would be the third time this year that I have listened to an entire Raven’s game on the radio while sitting in my car in the driveway.  This is because we do not have a TV with any reception in the house.  Nor do we have a radio with decent reception.  I assumed that 7:30, the time at which the game would be over, would surely be early enough for us to start the romantic evening we had planned. 

I came in at half-time to grab a beer for the second half and noticed that Helene had set up the living room with a comforter in front of the fireplace, candles and even flower pedals from our wedding night.  It was at this point that I felt slightly trapped.  I believed that I had two choices.  First, I could continue to listen to the game in the car.  Second, I could join Helene in the living room knowing that I would not be able to be present in that moment.  I chose the first option much to Helene’s very-much-warranted chagrin.  Sadly, I simply stated to Helene that I planned to listen to the rest of the game in the car.

I was completely oblivious to a third option: communicate!  Despite feeling trapped into believing that I only had the two choices, I was also excited about a romantic evening with my beautiful wife.  Why did I not see that I could have shared everything that I was feeling with Her?  I am not sure how the following statement would have gone over but, it would have been much better than neglecting my wife for my selfish desire to listen to the game.  “Sweetie, I am so excited about spending a romantic evening with you and I love the way that you have set up the living room.  It is now almost 6:00.  I know it may not make sense to you, but I am emotionally tied up with this football game.  If I listen to the rest of the game, which will be over around 7:30, we can have our romantic evening together and I will be able to give you the attention that you need and deserve.  Is that okay with you?”

As a result of me choosing not to communicate, the rest of the evening was rather tense and instead of us growing closer together as originally intended, there was a lot of silences and cold shouldering and unhappy vibes going around.  Thankfully, Helene and I did have a great conversation about all this the following day—that conversation and reading Rollins’ quote is what sparked the idea of me sharing this.

We ended up having our romantic night the following night, after having learned much about each other—Helene had no idea, even after 4.5 years together, that I actually make a point of listening to most Ravens games on Sunday!   My hope is that there is something here you can use to deepen your relationship(s) and that a more accurate view of myself is reflected—some “bad” and “ugly” to go with the “good.”

PS:  Helene says she’d like to acknowledge that in that moment, she was just as unable to communicate any of her conflicted emotions as I was – it takes two to forget to communicate J

SOME THOUGHTS ON MATTHEW 5:20

Matthew 5:20 “For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.” 

This passage really stuck out to me today.  It stuck out for two reasons.  First, because of what it does not say.  And secondly, the ambiguity it leaves open for interpretation.

The Pharisees were known to be strict adherents to the Judaic law.  This would lead one to believe that the Pharisees would rank high on the ladder of righteousness.  Therefore, it would be hard to surpass their righteousness.  Of course, one could make the argument that Jesus was being sarcastic and downplaying the importance of the Law.  Yet, if we go back to verse 17 we find that Jesus states the following: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.”

Interesting that with the “Law” Jesus mentions the “Prophets” as well.  The Prophets who perpetually spoke out against injustices and perhaps this is what the Pharisees were missing. Because of the Pharisees’ myopic view of the law that strives to have everything on the surface look as it should, while neglecting the deeper issue of injustice that surrounded them they lacked righteousness. 

This takes us back to what first stuck out to me with this passage—what it does not say.  I think many in our church today would more expect this passage to say, “For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the poor who are too lazy to get a job, the prostitute that whores herself, the drug addict that refuses to turn his life around, the rapists and murderers that steal life from others, and the terrorists who blow up buildings, people and themselves, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.”  For many of us this sets an easy standard to make it to heaven or for what it means to live righteously.  Ironically, however, it is those listed in the re-quote that Christ came for—he came for all, but if you read the scriptures closely it is apparent they are for who he came for the most.  It was Shane Claiborne who pointed out that much of early Christianity grew because a former terrorist and Pharisee by the name of Paul recognized his acts of injustice, repented and started following the One he persecuted.

RAISED RIGHT IS RIGHT ON

Waterbrook Multnomah has been graciously providing me with books free for more than a year now.  The only stipulation is that I provide them with a fair and honest review of each book.  Alisa Harris’s Raised Right How I Untangled My Faith From Politics is the most recent.  I have put off writing this review for several weeks now because I am conflicted about what I have to say about it. 

All of the books that I request from Waterbrook are non-fiction and many of them tend to lean politically left or right.  When this is the case I have noticed a pattern with my reviews.  Since I tend to lean left, the books that lean left get a good review and the books that lean right get a negative review.  This is far from objective and the lack of objectivity troubles me.  So there you have somewhat of a disclaimer—because the book leans left the review will be favorable. 

With all of that said, I am looking forward to the book that leans left that I do not like and the book that leans right that I absolutely love just to be able to show that I can, in fact, be objective.  Raised Right, despite the irony with the title, however, is not that book.

Raised Right is Harris’s memoir—something quite strange or unique for someone who, from what I can gather, has yet to begin her thirties!  Despite being young, Harris spews forth wisdom that many twice her age lack. 

The story depicts Alisa’s life growing up in a family that was both religiously conservative and politically active.  “I had been picketing since before I could walk.  Before my parents moved to Oregon from New Mexico, they had bundled me into a carrier twice a week and hauled me and their signs to the local abortion clinic, where they paced the road across the street, praying as pregnant women walked in and empty women walked out.” (p. 13) Then the story moves on to Alisa’s college life and ends shortly after college. 

Through the transitions from home to college to post-college life Alisa weaves a narrative that demonstrates a gentle and graceful transition or reinterpretation of the conservative values that she was taught as child.

While I did not grow up in a religious home I did grow up in a conservative one.  Alisa’s story truly resonates with me.  I did not become a follower of Christ until my first year of college and my conservative upbringing certainly influenced my worldview and how I viewed my relationship with God.  At some point, like Alisa, I became disgusted with lack of love, mercy, grace and compassion as well as the hubristic adherence to religious dogma so often displayed from the religiously conservative right.  And again, like Alisa, this caused me to begin re-evaluating what it means to be a follower of Christ.

I believe that Alisa and I are both in similar places and I believe that is why I loved this book so much—it helped me feel like I am not alone.  Moreover, it reinforced the notion that it is okay, good in fact, to challenge the status quo.

For anyone raised in a religiously conservative home who struggles with its ideology I highly recommend this book!

GOING BENEATH THE SURFACE WITH MATTHEW'S GENEALOGY

Most of us who read or have read the bible at some point complain to someone about the genealogies.  I have done this on numerous occasions.  However, the more time I spend reading the bible and the more I pay attention to details the more things just come to life.  Today I started reading Matthew and I was stunned by the language of its genealogy in the first chapter--two verses in particular:

vs5 Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, Boaz the father of Obed whose mother was Ruth, Obed the father of Jesse, vs6 and Jesse the father of King David. David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,

Of course, I am no bible scholar, but wow!  It is rare that women particularly mothers are mentioned in genealogies and here we have three mentioned in two short verses.  The first is a prostitute, Rahab, that hid Hebrew spies; the second is a Moabite woman, Ruth, who demonstrates endearing loyalty to her mother-in-law after her husband dies. 

Interestingly, the genealogy mentions both Rahab and Ruth by name yet Bathsheeba is not mentioned by name.  Rather, the genealogy states, “David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife.”  This language completely draws the reader to David’s sins of not just adultery but to Uriah’s murder which David arranged.  And all of this is to show the genealogical line that Jesus comes from—a genealogical line that is far from perfect—a genealogical with questionable a past to say the least, with perhaps the exception of Ruth.  However, Ruth could still be considered an outsider being a Moabite woman.  Moabites were excluded from the assembly of worshippers being descendants of an incestuous relationship between Lot and one of his eldest daughters.

Writing this reminds me of the Steve Taylor song, “Jesus Is For Losers”.  I remember buying the album and seeing the song title and being offended.  Then I listened to the song and said to myself, “Man, this is brilliant!”  I leave you with the last couple of versus:

Just as you are
Just a wretch like me
Jesus is for losers
Grace from the blood of a tree

Just as we are
At a total loss
Jesus is for losers
Broken at the foot of the cross

Just as I am
Pass the compass, please
Jesus is for losers
I'm off about a hundred degrees

Just as I am
In a desert crawl
Lord, I'm so thirsty
Take me to the waterfall

WHERE I WILL BE TOMORROW

My wife has some pretty funny stories.  One of my favorites is a particularly bad date that she went on some years before we met.  If I recall correctly the guy was someone she met at work who was genuinely nice.  However, he was somewhat boring and seemed to lack passion for just about anything.  They were struggling for conversation during their date so Helene asked him if he had any hobbies.  He said, “Oh yeah, I really like to bike.”  Helene responded, “Really?  So tell me what kind of bike do you have and what kind of riding do you enjoy?”  Her date’s response: “Oh, I don’t own a bike.”

Last week I framed an entry on this blog about immigration with a conversation I had at a wedding about what I am passionate about besides kayaking.  I stated in that conversation that I was passionate about justice and went on to demonstrate that much like Helene’s date from years ago, I merely pay lip service to my passion for justice while I live out my passion for kayaking—something that I am not incredibly proud of.

Well, I am also passionate about the environment and tomorrow gives me an opportunity to demonstrate that passion.  In all honesty it is somewhat of a struggle not to serve myself and my other passion of kayaking tomorrow and go to the river on what will be a beautiful day.  And part of me writing this is to hold myself accountable for something that is bigger and much more important than me going to the river to burn a few calories and have fun.

The proposed 1,661 mile Tar Sands Pipeline is scheduled to cross many rivers including the Yellowstone in Montana, the Ogallala Aquifer and the environmentally sensitive Sand Hills in Nebraska. Moreover, the pipeline requires a presidential permit because it crosses the US-Canada border.  I am opposed to this project because of the risk that this pipeline puts on incredible natural resources and our country's stubborn reliance on oil and lack of effort to seriously consider alternative energy sources.  Tomorrow there is a planned protest at the Whitehouse that I will be a part of.  I am proud to be saying yes to something that is bigger, much bigger, than me just having a good time on the water. 

For those interested in joining you can find more information here. And I hope to see you there!

A THOUGHT ON IMMIGRATION

I was recently at a wedding where a friend of mine who knows I am passionate about kayaking asked, “What else I am passionate about?”  The question left me speechless for a several moments—it was a great question, some might even say a loaded question.   My delayed response after some serious, introspective thought was, “Justice.”  While I believe that answer was honest, I must begrudgingly admit that while I may be passionate about justice it is an embarrassingly distant second to kayaking. 

There is a little irony that I am writing this shortly after spending my 100^th day of the year on the water in a kayak of some shape or form.

If you know me and my wife at all you are aware the she and I recently purchased our first home together.  The mixed feelings about actually buying a house are another topic that I may delve into at some point, but not here.  This blog entry however, could not occur if Helene and I did not make that decision.

The previous owners had done some work to the kitchen before we put our offer in that was just really bad.  I won’t get into the details, but there was a lot of stuff that we decided to have fixed and improved on.  Since we cook a lot we decided that we really want/need a range that has an outside duct.  We had this work done yesterday.  One person came and did most of the work—the only thing that needed to be done was some drywall-finish work.  I agreed with the contractor to have his drywall finish guy, Carlos, come to do the work.

Dave, our contractor, said that Carlos was on another job and would come as soon as he was done.  Dave also asked me if I spoke Spanish.  Needless to say, I was a little concerned that I would lack the skills to communicate with Carlos despite knowing un pequito Espanol.

Carlos a tall guy with drywall-mud-splotched clothes, a pony-tail and quite a few bracelets showed up around 7:00.  Even though his English was better than anticipated it was not fluent.  Watching Carlos work his magic with drywall mud while having a great conversation would be the highlight of my week, yet bittersweet.

You see, Carlos is an illegal alien from Central America.  Amazingly, Carlos was very forthcoming when I asked right out whether he was here legally or not?  His wife is here legally and they have a child that is a US citizen because of being born here.  When asked if he was worried about being deported his answer was that yes he does worry about having to go back to his country but that he focuses on living in the moment and enjoying the time that he is here.   He also said that he loves doing drywall-finish work, which was apparent from the enthusiasm he put into the work that he was doing on our kitchen--work that he was doing after a long day on another job.

Of course this got me thinking about one of the hot-button issues of our day, illegal immigration.  When asked why Carlos decided to come to the US and about the journey to get here I got a pretty amazing story.  Naturally, Carlos wanted to be with his wife.  However, you would think that a person with three years of studying law in his home country would have a promising future there.  However, Carlos told me that work is hard to come by even with a law degree, due in large part to a civil war that has been going on for the past 12 years.   He stated that even doctors have hard time finding work--he even has a sister who still lives in his country who is a dentist and because of the civil war really only practices with family and friends.  Carlos essentially risked his life to come here, walking much of the way and crossing borders that could have easily got him arrested and even killed.

So, Carlos is passionate about his work, supporting his wife and seven year old son and bracelets, while I am passionate about kayaking.  This makes me think about the freedom I have been given.  I was born in a country that I that I did not choose to be born in, yet gives me the choice to be passionate about kayaking.

In fact, there is not one person that was born in the US that made that choice with their own volition.  Yet somehow so many of us, me included, think that being born here gives us rights that others not born here should not have: the right to live in peace, the right to create a good life--the right to the “Pursuit of happiness".  Moreover, when one wants to think about it, while England made it legal for people from their country come and settle in the “New World”, it is very apparent that the Natives of this land could look on us exactly like we look on those that are currently here illegally.

Being passionate about kayaking makes me aware of something in my life.  I am a US citizen who is just a spoiled rotten child. 

Our current unemployment rate has hovered just above 9% for the past several years and the common complaint is that illegal aliens play a big part in this because they are taking our jobs.  Well perhaps, just perhaps, part of that high unemployment rate is because of the fact that we are a spoiled nation.  Illegals do the work that we consider below us and refuse to take.  Moreover, when we make statements like, “They are taking our jobs” it is essentially saying that we are better than they are.  Again, being born here was not our choice but it somehow makes us more deserving of having a living wage than it does for someone who is here illegally?

Sadly, I do not have the solution to our immigration problem.  However, I do not have an argument against someone coming here to escape a civil war and wanting to make a better life for their family and doing work that so many of us find beneath us.