A little more than two years ago I was required to read Brian Fikkert’s When Helping Hurts for a trip to Israel/Palestine. I recall there were differing opinions about much of the content of the book within our group. What those differing opinions were has become hazy with the two plus years. However, there is one section the book that has remained with me and had an impact on how I see people of other cultures, faiths, and walks of life in an amazingly positive and inclusive way.
Last Wednesday I had just parked my car at the Silver Spring parking garage and was walking to the metro station. I was also a bit behind schedule to get to “The Living Room,” a gathering of friends that meets in the basement of Ebenezer’s Coffee House in Capitol Hill, DC. Our group is a gathering of misfits, one might say, that share a meal and study the Bible together. There are a few of us currently living on the streets, a few of us who formerly lived on the streets, some that have never lived on the streets. Regardless, come to “The Living Room” long enough and it starts to become an extended “dysfunctional family” as Bobby, one member of our group, likes to remind us each week.
So, back to my short walk to the metro platform to catch the Red-Line heading in the Shady Grove direction for the 5 or 6 stops—I have been doing this ride somewhat regularly for years and one would think that I would know the exact number of stops, but I don’t—To Union Station. There is frequently a paper vendor outside of the Silver Spring Metro Station selling copies of Street Sense. Street Sense is a non-profit based in Washington DC assisting the homeless and trying to put an end to homelessness in the city. One thing that Street Sense does is employ homeless folks as street vendors for their newspaper of the same name. The paper is about 30 pages long with stories that mainly focus on homeless issues. Many of the articles are written by the vendors. It is pretty cool to buy a newspaper from someone who may have written one of the articles! Anyway, Earl is the name of the vendor at the Silver Spring Metro.
I remember beginning my descent down the stairs toward the entrance of the metro station thinking, “hmmm…I wonder if Earl will be there with his newspapers today?” I was excited about saying “hi” and getting a paper. However, this thought instantly changed to, “Man, I am running late I really hope that Earl is not selling his paper today so that I am not late for ‘The Living Room.’” In that instant I was filled with guilt and simultaneously reminded of Fikkert’s When Helping Hurts.
When Helping Hurts introduced me to two words that have forever changed, as stated in the opening paragraph, how I see those of other cultures and faiths and how I believe we, as people, should interact with them. In his book Fikkert describes two very different cultures. One is a monochronic culture and the other is polychronic. If there was a poster-child for monochronic culture the United States would be it, and much like DC is the capitol of the United States it makes a strong case for being the capitol of monochronic culture as well.
People living in a monochromic culture tend to: concentrate on the job, commit to the job, be timely and efficient, and adhere religiously to plans. On the other hand, those living in a polychronic culture tend to: allow distractions and manage interruptions well, change plans often and easily, be committed to people and human relationships—things that drive most westerners crazy including this one.
However, I have had the privilege to spend time in Mali, Israel/Palestine, and Egypt and see polychronic culture up close! I was and am humbled and convicted by the love these people had for one another and how much more important relationships rather than tasks were to them.
Of course, there are positive and negative aspects to both of these cultural leanings, but we need to recognize that one is not right while the other is wrong as well as recognize that both exist. I would argue that living on the far end of either spectrum can lead to a less fulfilling life – whether by being so task-oriented that relationships suffer or even fail to be developed, or by being so people-oriented that nothing ever gets accomplished. I know that for me personally to be less focused on tasks and more focused on relationships is something that should be incorporated into my life.
Sadly, Earl was not selling papers that day so I really do not know if my monochronic leaning would have pushed me by Earl without saying “hi” and getting a paper in order that that I could obtain my goal of making it to “The Living Room” on time, but I certainly hope not!
