It was about a year ago that both my wife and I picked up Kerry and Chris Shook’s One Month to Live. After we finished reading it we both agreed that we were not very challenged by it. If I were to have written a review of One Month to Live a year ago I am sure it would not have been that positive. So when I went on Water Brook Multnomah’s website to choose a free book for the purpose of doing a review I was reluctant to pick Love at Last Sight because it was by the same authors as One Month to Live. However, that is exactly what I did.
Before I discuss some of my thoughts on Love at Last Sight I would like to share some thoughts on One Month to Live because doing so will help frame what I have to say about Love at Last sight.
One Month to Live focuses on a concept that really did not gain popularity or come into sharp focus until the printing press—individual salvation. Prior to the printing press scripture needed to be discussed in communities, that is, individuals did not sit down with their own Bible that they just picked up from the local bookstore and read scripture—the clergy interpreted it for them. This paradigm of individualism reached its apogee in the 19th and 20th centuries. I am certainly a child of the 20th century and became a follower of Christ within the individual-salvation paradigm. Recently however, I have begun to drift away from this paradigm thanks mostly to the Emergent Movement. I certainly believe that there is importance in salvation and the individual. However, our society tends to focus on this to the exclusion of community—we focus so much on ourselves that we neglect those around us. Sadly, this is true for both Christianity and society in general. One Month to Live is written within the paradigm of individualism and while I believe there are some useful ideas and concepts that one can commit to, I believe the time is now for us to give community a seat at the table with individualism. By community I mean how we can involve ourselves in the mess of other people’s lives.
Personally, I am pretty good at the individualism thing and pretty bad at the community thing. Love at Last Sight is a book that is all about community; about how we involve ourselves in the lives of our family and friends. One main theme of the book is the contrast of “love at first sight” with “love at last sight”. “The concept of love at first sight permeates our music, movies, television, and books. What we learn as children and continue to believe as adults is that a fairy-tale relationship somehow just happens...I don’t believe in love at first sight; I believe in love at last sight” (p. 6-7) .
While the book does not come right out and say it, it is apparent that love at first sight generally is derived from selfishness while love at last sight is derived from selflessness.
Love at first sight says, “I’ll love you until…” Until you turn forty. Until you become too much trouble. Until I feel differently.
Love at last sight says, “I’ll love you even when…” Even when you’re sick. Even when helping you is difficult for me. Even when your eyes dim and your skin sags. Even when you wrong me (p. 55).
Love at Last Sight challenged me. The Shook’s suggestions and applications are not easy, but they are God-centered and will provide opportunities for growth and meaning in the beautiful mess of your life and the mess of the lives of your family and friends.
I would like to include a quick post script. My previous blog entry was a direct result of reading this book. I would like to thank Chris and Kerry for this wonderful book and the change it has made in my life. My wife and I are planning to lead a small group with our church this fall using Love at Last Sight--it may be the best book I have read this year!
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